Well it’s official, I have successfully made the transition from an independent, single, free-minded young woman, to a legally sanctioned female lifetime partner (not to be confused with wikipedia’s description of those who are not legally sanctioned and otherwise should be known as girlfriends, concubines or mistresses…)
Yes, I am now a WIFE.
(Breathes into paper bag)
The wedding day itself was lovely.
There was some embarrassment when, during a particular part of the church ceremony, a guest decided to approach the alter to slap the groom on the back (a tradition in some churches but definitely NOT in others). After violently shoving the offender back down the altar stairs, the priest then interrupted the ceremony to address the congregation and warn them that they would be thrown out of the church if they misbehaved. (All captured on video of course).
There was also slight pandemonium when, after the service, the priest abruptly turned the lights off and locked the front door, so that the guests had to squeeze out from a single side door, whilst my newly appointed husband and I attempted to greet them all on the narrow steps as they filed out.
And there was further confusion when we arrived at the reception to find that our ‘greeting area’, which was meant to be a grand stage adorned with flowers and candles, was simply a piece of wooden flooring on which we were meant to stand, elevated from the crowd. As it was we were only elevated by an inch and looked like we were standing on a dance mat. (Without the flashing lights).
Despite these minor chaotic moments, the wedding ran fairly smoothly and no-one seemed to notice the odd hiccup here and there.
The service started at 6pm (late by English standards but just right temperature wise for Cyprus!) but by 1:30 am everyone was exhausted from all the eating and dancing and kissing and more eating.
By the time we had sorted out a further few glitches (allocated hotel rooms for our guests had conveniently been mixed up), I was desperate for some peace and quiet and was relieved when we finally reached our honeymoon suite.
So imagine my disbelief, when I opened the door to see my in-laws sitting patiently on the bedroom sofa.
Waiting for us.
ULTIMATE passion killer.
My husband was totally unfazed by this and apparently the intention had been to deliver our wedding gifts to the room to make sure that everything was safely put away.
So that’s alright then.
Since returning home I have spent most of my free time drowning in wedding photos and eating left over wedding cake.
To be honest, I don’t feel any different whatsoever, although I do have an irrational and irrepressible urge to throw a lot of my old clothes away and buy a whole new ‘grown up’ wardrobe.
But that could just be my oniomanic disorder. (From the Greek ὤνιος onios meaning ‘for sale’ and μανία mania meaning insanity.)
I have also founded The Greek Wives Club
A place for all wives, girlfriends and partners of Greek men (whether they themselves are Greek or not), and other interested folk to share their experiences and to support each other through times of olive tree famine.
And so I shall now go forth and embrace married life and become the loyal, supportive, nagging wife I was born to be.
“It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife” – Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice. (Substitute the words single for Greek and, a good fortune, for an olive tree farm and you have the Greek version.)